Another word from me, 2019-05-25

Hi, it has been a year since i last wrote my last post.
It has been a lot of memories that happened with me.
I don't know what to say now. The word isn't belonging to me anymore.
It has belonged to some one else.

Today i drunk some beers and have such a very great feeling, it is not just about sadness but also emptyness. No body will choose to write blog when they are drunk but me.
I am writing this line when i am drunk and i happy i do it.
When you are drunk, you will have a chance to say it out loud everything that you want to say which stays deeply inside of your soul, which is the thing that normally can not be revealed easily without the very special emotional feelling.

I used to have no emotion to any girl out there, even with boy, ok. I can say that i am a loner for a long time. Then one day i began to like a girl.
And i have known what it is to like someone and have such a very hard to explain feelling that right now is still hard to be explainable.
Since that first time, i have been through a lot of loving and liking feeling like that.
It is not to blame by anyone right? Because we all have the right to love and be loved by someone.
Recently i like a girl, but it is absolute that she doesn't like me at all but i really want to talk to her, so what is the deal here?
When you like someone, it is maybe possible that you were attracted by some thing from here, her beauty, her cuteness, her kindness, her sadness, her outlook, her appearance or her characteristic, no matter what that is, you are still atrracted by her and that is the reason why you want to know more about her.
So what about the old girl, can i have that feelling with her?
The answer is i don't know.
I admit that i am not so easy to be atracted by some one, but once i was, it seems a little hard to escape from it, because it is never so easy to escape from something you like.

The question i want to answer here is:
Can i have a girl friend like that? Or is it just some stupid crap that will disappear some day or is it just one of your stupic illusion that is not real.
We will never know it until it really happens.

I think after all, i am not worth enough for any girl out there. Maybe i am alone and find no girl is one of my luck.

Unfortunately, that kind of fact doesn't seem to come to me yet.Will anyone like me, i don't know, but it is better if noone likes me.

I am a little bit sleepy now, i go to bed now. Have a nice day and thanks for reading my post. Bye bye.